YETI Report 2013
Upon examining and reexamining evidence of this year's Yeti droppings, and after conducting a through and complete analysis, including both pulmonary and olfactory tests, the following preliminary results are published here for your preview.The 2013 YETI report is presented here to you in its entirety. It required reviewing and cataloging the various samples, and as a result of extensive testing and retesting during the Fire Test ©, the official results of the YETI Report are in. Please view the findings with the understanding that each reader is responsible for their own validation of the results. We implore that if you are conducting your own Fire Test © (after making appropriate payment to the YETI Institute for this copyrighted research test).
A perfect score is '30,' with categories being scored from 0 - 6 (6 being the highest).
Please follow the National Scientific Standards and basic fire safety regulations for ensuring valid results and maintaining your own personal safety.
And the winners are...
1st Place
Test Subject: 'A'
Cough
Sweet Sugar
Nice Sweet Large ‘um’ Bud.
This is just a sweet and sour and sticky sic smelly.
Use scissors you don’t want to lose any.
Gradual up up and away.
Strong Buds. Good for snuff.
Delay.
Appearance: 5 Fragrance: 6 Potency: 5 Taste: 6 Burn Test 6 Total Score 28
In Second Place ...
Test Subject: 'C'
Brain Squeeze
Lemon Time.
Dark Pungent
Melancholy
Wow flat-liner
This is a drug
Very Strong
Temple Pushing
Expanding
Appearance: 5 Fragrance: 5 Potency: 6 Taste: 5 Burn Test 5 Total Score 26
and in Third Place...
Test Subject: 'H' ...ashy
Double Cough
Hashy
Tang
This reminded me of Mr. Nice.
This is on the ark side.
Medium
Squinty Weed
Good Strong weedsky
Deep &Light
Appearance: 5 Fragrance: 5 Potency: 5 Taste: 5 Burn Test 5 Total Score 25
The rest are presented in Total Score order for informational purposes.
Test Subject: 'L'
late Cough
Hard Darkish
Unimpressive at first appearance.
Upon closer inspection it takes
on a garlic like, which is good for your health
Good and
Coffee tasting
Appearance: 4 Fragrance: 4 Potency: 5 Taste: 5 Burn Test 5 Total Score 23
Test Subject: 'G' ...ood
No cough
Good
Medium Green nugs.
Went right to scissors. Too gooey
To try to break up with your hands.
Appearance: 4 Fragrance: 5 Potency: 4 Taste: 5 Burn Test 5 Total Score 23
Test Subject: 'G & C Farms'
Pineapple Kush
Standard Green with red hairs, smaller type Irregular bud.
Wow, this made my head grow like a hot air balloon and POP.
What a rush. Great taster. Great lifty feeling
Appearance: 3 Fragrance: 5 Potency: 5 Taste: 5 Burn Test 5 Total Score 23
Test Subject: 'M'
No cough
Light green right acorn sized buds.
Hard rollers
Lean instant hit rush
Pushes on side of temple.
This lengthy weed goes a long way.
Heavy
Appearance: 4 Fragrance: 4 Potency: 5 Taste: 5 Burn Test 4 Total Score 22
Test Subject: 'G & C Farms'
Mendo Giant – large
somewhat tight buds.
nice and Berry smelling.
Taste is berry as well.
Holds its head for nice time
But the burn is
somewhat troublesome.
Appearance: 5 Fragrance: 4 Potency: 4 Taste: 4 Burn Test 4 Total Score 21
Test Subject:
'I'
Butt cheek
Dense and smells like scat.
Medium green
turns into good base
Appearance: 3 Fragrance: 5 Potency: 4 Taste: 4 Burn Test 4 Total Score 20
Test Subject: 'J'
Cough
Mixed Greens
[xxxxx]
Sorry the order of testing killed it.
Warming feeling
stringing crystals
It grows on U.
Appearance: 4 Fragrance: 4 Potency: 4 Taste: 4 Burn Test 4 Total Score 20
Test Subject: 'N'
Cough
Brownish Green
Mellow smell
High Fructose Sugar
Chicken Little would be proud
the sky is falling.
Asleep.
Appearance: 4 Fragrance: 4 Potency: 4 Taste: 3 Burn Test 4 Total Score 19
Test Subject: 'B'
Nice irregular buds. Sticky
Medium smelling buds.
Has that sweet smelly,
better than it tastes.
Appearance: 5 Fragrance: 5 Potency: 3 Taste: 3 Burn Test 3 Total Score 19
Test Subject: 'D'
cough
Multi colored
and dark green sample.
Initially doesn't’t smell, just impairs.
But it does have Power Cheek.
Warming, good for winter.
Appearance: 4 Fragrance: 4 Potency: 3 Taste: 4 Burn Test 3 Total Score 18
Test Subject: 'E'
Cough
Big leaf remnant of Skunk.
Sweet revenge.
Light green sticky when crushed.
Expands in the lungs. Little xx
then it smells.um
Appearance: 4 Fragrance: 3 Potency: 4 Taste: 3 Burn Test 4 Total Score 18
Test Subject: 'R'
no cough
Dense. Dark green.
You need scissors to break this up.
Nice & small
perfect oblong buds.
Appearance: 4 Fragrance: 3 Potency: 4 Taste: 3 Burn Test 4 Total Score 18
Test Subject: 'Q'
cough
Large stxx
bud with nice smelly bubskies.
Pretty average at the end.
Appearance: 3 Fragrance: 4 Potency: 4 Taste: 3 Burn Test 3 Total Score 17
Test Subject: 'O'
cough
Purple something
Crazy Looking
Bud Popcorn
Strong
Appearance: 3 Fragrance: 3 Potency: 5 Taste: 3 Burn Test 3 Total Score 17
Test Subject: 'F'
You can feel this on your eyes.
Good for glaucoma.
Not too bid on smell or stink.
Appearance: 3 Fragrance: 3 Potency: 3 Taste: 3 Burn Test 4 Total Score 16
Test Subject: Otis’s Farm
early cough
Train Wreck Derivative
Compact with well manicured
oblong nuggs. No overwhelming
[xx] odor.
Upon opening this lime green egg,
it revealed find blonde hair.
Granular medium, conformed nice
to the test vessel.
Appearance: 3 Fragrance: 2 Potency: 3 Taste: 2 Burn Test 4 Total Score 13
This concludes the 2013 YETI Report. The original manuscript scroll of this report is filed in the YETI Institute Archives.